This is me. Dozens of ‘New Beginnings’ are littered around me all wearing reproachful expressions. Healthy snacks in the cupboard way past their eat-by date; a basket full of fabric and thread waiting to be stitched together to make another original and inspired piece of Textile Art which is normally my go-to therapy and new blank journals where the first, and only, jottings blether on about how I have finally got myself up together and this is a new start! The evidence of this false statement displayed in the rest of the blank pages. Where have I gone?
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece of writing, and I’m with you! For a great part I’m struggling with the same. I have a dream to write a book. Yes I am writing (not on my book) and I’m constantly distracted with all life is throwing at me. I think the most important thing is to love ourselves, with all our quirks… Sounds easy, I know 😊
Totally empathise. Woke up this morning thinking I have to get my life back under control. I've frittered away my evenings this week eating chocolate and watching rubbish TV and endless social media scrolling. I did go to my writing group on Wednesday so that is a plus. So small steps needed. Today I will write and submit something somewhere.
You are steps ahead of me, ready to submit something somewhere. :) So this is how we go, several steps forward, some back. As long as we keep moving, we'll be fine. (I hope)
You are truly preaching to the choir! I am Snack Queen!! I am vacuuming all the snacks on the table in short 30 min :) But to make sure I don't end up as unhealthiest person in the world I try to choose more healthier versions now ,which doesn't mean only veggies and Hummus but like tortilla chips instead of potato chips, some light cheese etc because I am the same as you , I LOVE to snack and I will never stop:D just making sure I am keeping it under control.
Not a cake fan but still can't resist sweets and pain au chocolat. I could have written this post as I felt everything you said. But for some reasons, it gives me hope so thank you !!
Gosh I get this. back in my 20s I was so annoyed with my repeated patterns that I burned a bunch of my journals. I wouldn't recommend it. but now I see it's a great spiral upwards and we write to remind ourselves. I write breathe about a thousand times. Big hug and beautiful share.
I love this post Terje! Your writing delights and engages me. And you're inspiring me to investigate my own inner saboteur. I have a hunch she's sneaky too, and I'm not yet fully acquainted with her either, while I, too, know my Inner Critic very well.
This is so good: "My saboteur, either threatened by my success or purely out of malice, does its tricks and positions itself between my brain and hand, directing my hand to take yet another cookie, and one more, and switch TV channels."
And I love how evocative this is: "The saboteur in me skillfully hides in the shadows and masterfully manipulates me, so most of the time I am not even aware of its presence. I haven’t truly seen it. I’m unsure of its species, gender, shape, size, or color."
And I love this observation and speculation: "My saboteur doesn’t attend the inner team meetings—not for problem-solving, decision-making, or even celebrations. Could it be that my saboteur is like the thirteenth fairy, offended and vengeful because of the inattention?"
And may we all have this awareness: "My self-compassion has grown over the years, so I don’t beat myself up too much for all the mistaken choices."
Thank you for sharing your writing and wisdom Terje!✨🌟💖🙏🕊️
I’ve found that simply by becoming aware of my inner critic, I can catch her before she goes full throttle 😁 it’s by being aware of her and not identifying with her, that I am freed from being the effect of her, if that makes sense? It’s in the same vein of observing my humanity from my divinity- it’s the cultivation of that observing awareness that has helped me to suffer less. What about you?
It makes a lot of sense. Awareness and observing things with curiosity is freeing in many circumstances and it is the necessary step before acceptance, change or letting go.
This is me. Dozens of ‘New Beginnings’ are littered around me all wearing reproachful expressions. Healthy snacks in the cupboard way past their eat-by date; a basket full of fabric and thread waiting to be stitched together to make another original and inspired piece of Textile Art which is normally my go-to therapy and new blank journals where the first, and only, jottings blether on about how I have finally got myself up together and this is a new start! The evidence of this false statement displayed in the rest of the blank pages. Where have I gone?
Stitched together the new beginnings spell hope. If we stopped trying it would be even sadder.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece of writing, and I’m with you! For a great part I’m struggling with the same. I have a dream to write a book. Yes I am writing (not on my book) and I’m constantly distracted with all life is throwing at me. I think the most important thing is to love ourselves, with all our quirks… Sounds easy, I know 😊
Yes, love and self-compassion surely are better than pointing at mistakes, shaming and blaming oneself.
It is called being human, Terje. And I think you are a wonderful human, doing a wonderful job. xo
Thank you! Sweet comment. Hugs!
Totally empathise. Woke up this morning thinking I have to get my life back under control. I've frittered away my evenings this week eating chocolate and watching rubbish TV and endless social media scrolling. I did go to my writing group on Wednesday so that is a plus. So small steps needed. Today I will write and submit something somewhere.
You are steps ahead of me, ready to submit something somewhere. :) So this is how we go, several steps forward, some back. As long as we keep moving, we'll be fine. (I hope)
You are truly preaching to the choir! I am Snack Queen!! I am vacuuming all the snacks on the table in short 30 min :) But to make sure I don't end up as unhealthiest person in the world I try to choose more healthier versions now ,which doesn't mean only veggies and Hummus but like tortilla chips instead of potato chips, some light cheese etc because I am the same as you , I LOVE to snack and I will never stop:D just making sure I am keeping it under control.
My husband jokes that it's a balanced diet when a bar of chocolate is in both hands. :)
Agreed!
Not a cake fan but still can't resist sweets and pain au chocolat. I could have written this post as I felt everything you said. But for some reasons, it gives me hope so thank you !!
It makes me feel better knowing that others understand me.As long as we don’t give up and keep showing up there’s hope.
Gosh I get this. back in my 20s I was so annoyed with my repeated patterns that I burned a bunch of my journals. I wouldn't recommend it. but now I see it's a great spiral upwards and we write to remind ourselves. I write breathe about a thousand times. Big hug and beautiful share.
I love this post Terje! Your writing delights and engages me. And you're inspiring me to investigate my own inner saboteur. I have a hunch she's sneaky too, and I'm not yet fully acquainted with her either, while I, too, know my Inner Critic very well.
This is so good: "My saboteur, either threatened by my success or purely out of malice, does its tricks and positions itself between my brain and hand, directing my hand to take yet another cookie, and one more, and switch TV channels."
And I love how evocative this is: "The saboteur in me skillfully hides in the shadows and masterfully manipulates me, so most of the time I am not even aware of its presence. I haven’t truly seen it. I’m unsure of its species, gender, shape, size, or color."
And I love this observation and speculation: "My saboteur doesn’t attend the inner team meetings—not for problem-solving, decision-making, or even celebrations. Could it be that my saboteur is like the thirteenth fairy, offended and vengeful because of the inattention?"
And may we all have this awareness: "My self-compassion has grown over the years, so I don’t beat myself up too much for all the mistaken choices."
Thank you for sharing your writing and wisdom Terje!✨🌟💖🙏🕊️
Any signs of mellowing down? My critic seems to sometimes get distracted by other things, so he is not as loud as he used to.
I’ve found that simply by becoming aware of my inner critic, I can catch her before she goes full throttle 😁 it’s by being aware of her and not identifying with her, that I am freed from being the effect of her, if that makes sense? It’s in the same vein of observing my humanity from my divinity- it’s the cultivation of that observing awareness that has helped me to suffer less. What about you?
It makes a lot of sense. Awareness and observing things with curiosity is freeing in many circumstances and it is the necessary step before acceptance, change or letting go.
Thank you for such specific feedback. Your saboteur is she, what about the critic? My inner critic is an older man.
my inner critic is the most angry and judgmental older woman you can imagine😖
Totally with you on that one. And yes, Impossible to say no to cake. Long live cake 🙂
🍰💖 🙂