The layered self

and a reminder that each art experience depends on your life context

Welcome, dear reader. Have you ever tried a blueberry-lemongrass mocktail? I drank one on Wednesday after an art exhibition visit. Sitting in a cafe’s lush backyard garden I sipped the drink and jotted about the art viewing experience in my journal. It was as strong reminder that there is no other way to see and experience the art than through the context of your life and state of mind.

My timing for arriving on a slow art tour was spot on. At exactly four o’clock on Wednesday afternoon I took the last step of the stairs and joined two other women in an art gallery for the viewing of Lisette Lepik’s Lahustumine/ Flow State exhibition.

The windows of the gallery were covered with black blinds. With the setup of the walls only three paintings illuminated by artificial light were visible at first and the sound of club music echoed through the space. I felt the beat vibrating through my body.

I knew the tour guide, and it turned out that the other woman was Lisette Lepik, the artist whose paintings hung on the wall.

With the presence of the artist and the music and me being the only visitor I knew the viewing already had a start different than I expected. I loved that I was reminded that even when you think you know what to expect, each experience is different.

When the tour guide explained that the exhibition was inspired by dance and the sequence of the paintings depicts a dancer in her flow state of immersion with music almost dissolving into abstract shapes, my curiosity increased. The artist said her intention was to explore how a painting as a timeless static medium captured motion and related to music unfolding in time.

We started with a mindfulness exercise focusing on the sensation the music created in our bodies, then let the music lead our movement before moving to view the paintings, looking from far, getting closer, imagining being part of one painting.

On the first paintings you could see the silhouette of a person layered and shifted and on the last paintings the dancer had turned into abstract colour patches.

If I hadn’t known what the exhibition was about I would not have connected the images to dancing. What I saw was myself with my current fragmented identity seeking unity and finally letting go and dissolving into the surrounding.

Maybe trying to put all the different layers of identity neatly together is a futile endeavour. We are in constant motion. At times different parts show up in stronger colors. At all times we are part of a bigger picture. In a strange way the idea of identity fragmentation in the transition life period became more acceptable.

I closed my eyes, and instead of looking at the art I let the music release all my thoughts. I was a woman attending a slow art tour and it felt good.

I am glad you are here. I am glad I had my journal with me on Wednesday. I wonder how you arrange, merge, or shift the various parts of your identity.

My favourite painting form the series: